When to sway and when NOT to sway

Trying for a particular gender or sex can be a very taboo topic. Understandably so. Without question pregnancy is a miracle, and every child is an incredible gift. There are woman who sadly can not even conceive one child, let alone try for a particular gender. I can only imagine that this would be so unbelievably painful. Like many things in the life people can take things like food, shelter, opportunity, love, freedom and education for granted, as some will never get to experience those things. The list could go on forever, and all we can do is life our lives in the moment, grateful and relative to the reality we face each day. 

I believe you can be grateful for the children you have, and any children that are still to come, and still sway the odds in favor of a particular gender.

Wanting and trying for a Girl did not mean at any point that I would not love another son. 

Some of the critical questions I think every swayer needs to ask themself, and be able to honestly answer is 'do I want another child, boy or girl, do I really want to add to my family'. If the answer is yes, 'boy or girl, I want another child' then swaying is somewhat harmless. If the answer is no, 'I only want another child if it is a particular gender or sex' then you are possibly in a danger zone. 

Another critical question to ask yourself is 'if the baby you conceive is not the gender you are trying for how will you cope?' If the answer is along the lines of, 'life will go on, I will be sad and disapointed for a while, maybe some tears, may still long for a little girl but I know I will love and adore the family I have…' then you know you are probably okay to give it all a shot. If the answer is 'end of the world, may never recover, maybe reconsider the plan.  

I am by no means suggesting that you can not try for a baby if you are feeling end of the world feelings. However I would strongly suggest getting some counselling first. I would also look into some options such as IVF that can guarantee a particular sex, if it is legal where you are of course. Personally I live in Australia, so that was not an option.

Trying for a girl through gender swaying was an incredible experience for my husband and I.  We are to be very honest with ourselves and work together. It was not particularly romantic, having sex on schedule! At times I became stressed, this was when I remided myself to be grateful and I would repeat soothing mantras, as kooky as that sounds!  

If you are experiencing gender depression, either through a pregnancy or while raising your children I would again recommend counselling. Sometime you may need to shop around to find the right person.

Other tips I have (some may seem a little shallow, but they can help!) are:

1. Go on a little shopping spree and spoil your self. 

2. Take a family holiday if life permits! 

3. Go on a weekend get away with you girlfriends. 

4. Volunteer at a local kindy, nursery ect to spend time with some little girls. 

5. Take a neice or goddaughter out for a day. 

6. Spend a day with you children outrageously spoiling them and yourself. I personally love this one. We would go out for breakfast, go shopping, then go to friends houses, then snuggle up on the couch with movies and marshmallows! Best day ever!!  

I had a GIRL after 3 boys! Here is how I did it!

I wanted to write up a brief outline of how I prepared and what I did leading up to having my daughter. After my beautiful baby boy number 3 was born I spent two years researching how I could gender sway for a girl. As I have said before, the girl diet or gender selection diet came up with the most evidence. 

I spent over 12 months just developing the recipes and calculating the mineral ranges to ensure that they were in line with clinical studies that demonstrated a 80% success rate. It was hard, but worth it. 

The Girl Diet Ebook I developed can be found here: 

https://www.thegirldiet.com/shop/wa586jsb86kiinlwexsewpl3qe6ob6

I was on the the gender selection diet for approximately 10 weeks. It is only necessary to be on it for 6 weeks, however it depends what you fall pregnant. Prior to starting the diet I focused on positive thinking and affirmations. I was determined not to let my own or any one else's negativity get in the way of me conceiving my little girl. 

I would replace every negative thought with a positive affirmation. I exercised for 30mins daily to look after my mental health and to help with my girl sway. 

I stuck to the diet religiously, without a single cheat. This was to ensure that at the end of it all I could know that whatever the outcome I gave it 100%. I told all family and friends that I was on a detox, to avoid unwanted discussions about whether or not I should be doing this and whether or not I should be having a 4th child… every person seems to have their opinions. 

I surrounded myself with negative ions, to assist with my girl sway and I visualised my baby girl. I went to as many friends and family and held their babies. Basically I was a woman on a mission!

But most of all I had faith in the diet I had created. I was determined to make sure The Girl Diet Ebook was following the strict research guidelines. 

Based on my obsessive determination I felt completely at peace with whatever the outcome was. I knew I would fiercely love another son as much as a daughter. 

I will very shortly write a detailed post on my gender selection girl sway. So stay tuned. I the meantime I reccomend buying the Ebook as it takes time to get prepared and locate all of the ingredients needed to make the girl sway meals! 

Gender swaying for a girl- all swaying techniques discussed

Okay so I wanted to discuss some of the swaying techniques that I came across on my journey to having my baby girl. Gender swaying is based on the theory that you can sway the odds in your favour to conceive either a boy or a girl. It is completely true that the male is the one that determines the sex of a baby with either a Y or X chromosome. However, gender swaying is based on changing the internal environments of the human body to either support the X or Y chromosome to penetrate the egg. Millions of sperm reach the egg, it is thought that by swaying you can change the chemical environment to better support either the X or the Y.

The sex of a baby can not change from that moment of conception. So swaying altering things prior to the moment of conception. The egg and the sperm may be affected by minerals, PH, polarity, hormones just to name a few. From my personal research the gender selection or sway diet came up with the most evidence. Having said that it doesn't hurt to add some of the others gender swaying techniques in to!

Below is a list of some of the other things you can do to gender sway for your baby girl.  

PH- changing your ph of the vaginal mucus and the internal environment can be done by eating more acidic or alkaline foods. For example Aspartame, which is fake sugar, is known to contribute to aciditity within the body. Diet drinks usually contain Aspartame.  

DOUCHE- using a douche can also increase the acidity of the vagina entrance. Usually vinegar mixed with water is used. Another strategy the changing the vaginal environment is to use an acidic lubricant. I will discuss brands in a later post.  

MINERALS- Changing the mineral composition of your body is done through diet and supplements. This is what my Girl Diet Ebook is based on. We are not quite sure how and why exactly it works, but it is thought to effect the membrane of the egg which better supports the X or Y chromosome to 'break through' first. 

TIMING- As discussed in my previous post, the Shettles method is based on timing. This theory suggests that the Y sperm is faster but weaker and the X sperm stronger, slower and lives longer. Therefore to have a boy have sex as close to ovulation as possible and to have a girl have sex 2-4 days prior to ovulation. I personally did not use this gender swaying technique at all on my attempt to sway for a girl.  

CAFFEINE- Is thought to effect the speed of the sperm and can effect mineral absorption. When trying for a girl it is best to avoid all caffeine as it can block calcium absorbtion.  

SUPPLEMENTS- These can effect the acidty of the body, for example through taking cranberry tablets. Or by increasing the bodys mineral content, for example through taking calcium and magnesium. For a girl sway it is reccomended to take calcuim and magnesium citrate, the citrate is the best for absorption.  

FREQUENCY OF SEX- This method is used to either increase or decrease spearm count. By having sex every two to three days would increase sperm. Abstinence, over a week without intercourse and frequent, every day or more decreases sperm count. When gender swaying for a girl it is best to have a lower sperm count. 

HEAT- Heat is also thought to decrease sperm count. So for the amle to have a hot bath (not too hot!!) prior to sex it will decrease his count. 

HORMONES- The ratio of testosterone, progesterone and oestrogen in the male and female body prior to conception is throught to effect the gender/sex at conception. When swaying for a girl you want the male to have lower testosterone, this can be done through eating soy and through increasing cardio and decreasing weight training. For the female we want to also decrease testosterone and oestrogen, but increase progesterone. This can be done through taking suppliments such as vitex and through exercise. 

MOON PHASE- The moon phase is thought to effect the polarity of the egg. when trying to conceive a girl you want to try during the new moon phase. However, this can be difficult as ovulation may only occur during one particular moon phase. Personally my ovulation only occurs during the full moon phase. Therefore my girl was conceived on a full moon. 

IONS- Ions are thought to effect the polarity of the egg. Either supporting the X or Y sprem to penetrate the egg first. When trying to gender sway for a girl you want to increase negative ions around you and decrease positive ions.  I will do a full blog on negative and positive ions soon as this is something I did incorporate into my gender sway. 

Okay so I know that there is more out there such as Chinese calender, but they are the main ones. Some are supported by research, some are not. I guesss it doesn't hurt to try a few. I will go into great detail about my own gender selection sway in a later blog. 

7 things I wish I new about having a GIRL

The moment I found out i was having a little girl I can remember feelings or sheer joy and feelings of panic! I knew how to be a boy mum, but what if raising a little girl was different...

Of course I asked my friends and family. The usual response was that girls we quieter and sat down to draw pictures all day. Two of my three boys were not that boisterous and my second boy spend a lot of his time drawing and sitting quietly at my side. So I thought maybe there really was no difference. 

My little madam is now 5 years old. So I think I am starting to get a good idea about the girl boy differences and similarities. 

1. Girls can and will push your buttons just as much as boys can. They can be loud, messy, grubby and obnoxious just like every other child can. 
2. Girls tend to talk, but not just talk, the kind of talking that requires a respones, with physical contact, and eye contact and a hug and a kiss. You get me? You need to be present and available on a whole different level!
3. Girls are listening all of the time. 
4. Girls don't always like dresses. In fact sometimes they are very firm about their style, which can be unusual at time.  
5. Girls love and cuddle just the same as boys.
6. Girls can challenge the way you think about parenting in a different way. Being female and wanting to raise a strong independent female has made me reflect deeply about how I talk about my body and weight in a way I had not thought about before. As I said girls are always listening!
7. Girls have complex relationships with their friends from a very young age. Sometimes it is like high school in kindy. 

The Shettles Method- does it work?

The timing method-does it work?

The ever so popular timing method for sex selection is called The Shettles method. This method is based on the theories of American specialist Dr Landrum Shettles, and was published over twenty years ago. The Shettles method suggests that the male sperm (Y) are smaller and faster and the female sperm (X) are bigger, slower and apparently stronger. 

According to Dr Shettles to conceive a little boy you have to have sex on the day, or as close to ovulation as possible. If you want to conceive a little girl you have to have sex two to four days before ovulation.
Unfortunately there is little evidence to support Dr Shettles theory. If this theory was to hold true surely there would be significantly more male conceptions. Purely due to the fact that when couples are trying for a baby, more often than not they are aiming as close to ovulation as possible. 

One of the biggest disadvantages of timing is that it can be incredibly difficult, if not impossible to conceive a baby at all when using this method to try and concienve a girl. Having intercourse 2-4 prior to ovulation makes it very difficult to fall pregnant!

From personal experience I followed natural family planning to prevent pregnancy and then to concieve my second and third children. I charted my temps, using Basal Body Temperature (BBT) and charted my mucus daily. I had a very regular cycle, which helped me be confident with my dates. I am positive that my baby boy number 2 was conceived after having sex 3 days prior to ovulation, and believe it or not baby boy number 3 was conceived after having sex 4 days prior to ovulation! According to the Shettles Method both of my boys should have been girls!  

Although it is based on anecdotal evidence I have met countless woman that affirm my position, woman who have conceived 3 girls in a row after having sex almost on the hour of ovulation. My daughter was conceived on the day of ovulation, and my boys were all conceived days prior to ovulation. When researching natural gender selection methods I could not find and satisfactory evidence to support Dr Shettles method. I did however find evidence for the diet method! 

"Oh, your having another boy!"

The insensitive words of a stranger, "Oh, your having another boy!". Like I had just announced that I was carrying a flesh eating bacteria. It is really hard to know where to go from there. Then the next comment follows with "weren't you hoping for a girl this time?"

I love my boys ferociously, especially my baby boy number 3. He is such a beautiful human being, and I feel my eyes well up every time I think about how much I love him. Did I hope he was a girl? Yes! When I was pregnant It was hard, and to top things off both of my sister in laws were pregnant at the same time, and they were both carrying girls. 

I can remember when I was faced with disappointed faces from family, friends and complete strangers. A sigh and head nod to the side. When all I needed was for them to look at me and tell me with no uncertainty that I would love this third boy with all of my heart and that the minute he came into the world I would be proudly bragging to all of those strangers about my amazing three boys!  

Having a preference for a boy or a girl is completely normal. I think if we were all honest most woman and men would say that they felt a preference, even for their first child. Those feelings do not mean anything about how parents will feel about the child they have. 

I think when you start getting depressed about gender, especially of it is ongoing it may be that that person was depressed or predisposed to depression to start with. Pre and post natal depression is not uncommon and can be treated. It is a hard, crazy emotional rolercoaster, our bodies go through massive hormonal changes. Sometimes emotional stuff from our pasts come up, triggers from our childhood, past relationships or even previous mental health conditions. 

I will be posting some stragities in another blog to help deal with gender disapointment/depression. 

My birth story with my girl

For my first blog post I wanted to write my birth story. When I was trying to fall pregnant and during pregnancy, I loved reading other peoples birth stories. No matter what, when or how they are all unique and they are all beautiful. I hope you enjoy reading mine. 

'It was one of the hottest summer days in January, the boys were all on summer holidays. In Australia we have our long break through December and January. I think I was three days past my due date and although I knew I would eventually go into labor it really felt like it was never going to happen. All four of my pregnancies went beyond forty weeks, so I guess i should not have been surprised! 

My husband had already started his holiday, so we spent the morning relaxing at home as a family. After lunch we decided to go for a swim at the river. I was so big and uncomfortable at this point, every step was painful. I needed to pee every 5 minutes. I waddled down to the cool, blue water, I lay back and floated while the boys splashed around me. At this point I was starting to have mild contractions, however this was not usual, I had been contracting on and off for weeks. As the afternoon when on we sat under the beautiful peppermint trees and ate salty hot chips and choc top ice creams. It was bliss. 

By the time we arrived home it was 5.30 pm. We bathed the children, fed them some pasta and crashed on the couch to watch a movie. Those mild contractions were still coming, I started to realize that labor could be starting soon. At around 9.30 pm I went to the bathroom and discovered I was bleeding. This had never happened to me before during early labor, I called for my husband and said I thought that It may be time and that I wanted to call the hospital to check about the bleeding. 

As expected the hospital suggested that I come in to get checked. I called my mum to come and watch the boys and got ready. Even though this was my forth labor I was nervous, during the drive my contractions all but stopped and I started to wonder if it was a false alarm. By the time we arrived at the hospital it was 11 pm. The midwife looked perplexed by my calm, not laboring appearance and suggested that I could come back when things started to progress after my check up. This is not what any overdue woman wants to hear! 

We were given a room to settle and wait for the doctor. It was about 30 minutes before anyone arrived, I was checked over, given the dreaded internal and told again that I could go home if I wanted to. While I did consider the suggestion I had a niggling feeling that I should stay. At this point I will pause to say that I have never had a quick labor before, all three boys took over 12 hours. I politely told the doctor that I would like to stay and I have a walk and shower. My contractions had returned, they were mild but regular now. I set up on a mat on the shower floor. At this point I started to feel dread creeping over me, I knew what was coming and I wanted to run away! Although my labor was still very mild I think my body was preparing very quickly. 

It was about 12.30pm now and a new midwife came on shift, she was lovely, calm and seemed to know what she was doing. Up until now things had felt somewhat disjointed and I was not really sure whether I was having a baby or not. The midwife asked if I would hop on the bed for a check. Although I was not keen on getting out of the warm water I needed a change of seen. The contractions were now becoming very intense. There was intense pressure building up down below and I was a little concerned why is was suddenly so intense. After some very uncomfortable prodding during a particularly strong contraction my lovely new midwife told me I was four centremetres dilated! 'FOUR!!' I yelled. I turned to my husband and the midwife and stated that I would be needing some gas as pain relief if this was only the begining. Within 5 minutes my gas was on, labor was very intense now. I was still lying on my back on the bed, a position I never thought I would birth in. I was writhing around on the bed and starting to yell during each contraction. 

The pressure and pelvic pain was excruciating, I just wanted to disapear into the bed. I was scared that it was only just begining and I was already starting to loose control. My incredable midwife must have realised at this point, less than an hour into active labor, that this was all happening very quickly. She gently asked me how long I was pushing for in my last labor. 'Three minutes' I exclaimed! She quielty nodded at my husband and called for the other midwife. 

I think I was starting to loose touch with reality now, The pain was indescribable (my other labors were not this intense) I was screaming and roaring, completely primal. My waters broke and minutes later our beautiful baby girl flew out, after less than a minute of pushing. My husband still tells the story that he thought he saw testicles as she came out. I was in shock, i remember looking down at this slimy being on my chest and having no idea what had just happened. 

Our daughter was born at 1am after one hour of active labor. She was nine pound eleven ounces. It took me at least 15 minutes to return to my body, I was in shock. I had some heavy bleeding after and was given an injection to stop it. After an hour of cuddles I was wheeled to my room and my husband returned home to our boys. I lay (in pain) for the rest of the night staring at my amazing miracle. I couldn't believe she was mine. She was and still is perfect. A firey, determined, spirited girl.