The insensitive words of a stranger, "Oh, your having another boy!". Like I had just announced that I was carrying a flesh eating bacteria. It is really hard to know where to go from there. Then the next comment follows with "weren't you hoping for a girl this time?"
I love my boys ferociously, especially my baby boy number 3. He is such a beautiful human being, and I feel my eyes well up every time I think about how much I love him. Did I hope he was a girl? Yes! When I was pregnant It was hard, and to top things off both of my sister in laws were pregnant at the same time, and they were both carrying girls.
I can remember when I was faced with disappointed faces from family, friends and complete strangers. A sigh and head nod to the side. When all I needed was for them to look at me and tell me with no uncertainty that I would love this third boy with all of my heart and that the minute he came into the world I would be proudly bragging to all of those strangers about my amazing three boys!
Having a preference for a boy or a girl is completely normal. I think if we were all honest most woman and men would say that they felt a preference, even for their first child. Those feelings do not mean anything about how parents will feel about the child they have.
I think when you start getting depressed about gender, especially of it is ongoing it may be that that person was depressed or predisposed to depression to start with. Pre and post natal depression is not uncommon and can be treated. It is a hard, crazy emotional rolercoaster, our bodies go through massive hormonal changes. Sometimes emotional stuff from our pasts come up, triggers from our childhood, past relationships or even previous mental health conditions.
I will be posting some stragities in another blog to help deal with gender disapointment/depression.
